A Look at the Best Jokes from the Edinburgh Festival 2014
Having not been lucky enough to visit the
Edinburgh Festival myself this year, I thought I would take a look at what the
critics had to say so I could bring you the low down of the best jokes from the
Edinburgh Festival 2014. Telling jokes
in the pub is somewhat of a pastime for me and my mates and what better place
to get inspiration for one-liners than the Edinburgh Festival?
One-liners
are a tricky beast, often resulting in a sort of “ah” sighing sound which is
designed to signify that people are unimpressed. But the Edinburgh Fest is a
comedy hub so I expected the crème de la crème when I heard that this year’s
best one-liner had been voted for by a panel of experts from over 7,000 one-liners and then chosen from the panel’s short list
by the public. The winning joke was from the 2010 winner Tim Vine, dubbed the
king of one-liners for a reason!
“I've
decided to sell my Hoover... well, it was just collecting dust."
This
tickled me, but I must say I think I prefer Tim Vine’s 2010 offering:
"I've
just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I'll tell you what, never
again."
I don’t
need to tell you that comedy is subjective, but based on the kind of humour
that my mates and I enjoy; here are five of my favourites that missed out on
the top spot.
5. "Money can't buy you
happiness? Well, check this out; I bought myself a Happy Meal."
– Paul F Taylor. I can see this one going down swimmingly with my friends,
particularly if we were in McDonalds.
4. “Due to the size of my social
circle, a lads' holiday would resemble a romantic getaway.” – Phil Wang. Anyone
who has a “quality over quantity” policy with friends can probably relate to
this one.
3. “The other day, I went to KFC. I didn’t know
Kentucky had a football club.” – Nick Helm. Another most excellent fast food
related joke, with a football twist – what’s not to love?! (By now you’ve
probably got a good idea of the kind of places me and my friends hang out).
2. “Dogs don’t love you. They’re just glad they don’t
live in China.” – Romesh Ranganathan. I confess, I am a dog person and I find
they make much better joke material than cats.
1. “I thought Benefits Street was a budget box of
chocolates that you could buy at Lidl.”- Imran Yusuf. Now this is a joke and
the clear winner for me! We’ve all gone into Lidl and seen the imitation brands
that resemble the real thing and it makes me chuckle every time. I was shocked
to see that this little gem of a joke didn’t make the official top ten.
Some jokes which did however make the top ten could
have come out of a Christmas cracker in my opinion:
"Always leave them wanting more, my uncle used to
say to me. Which is why he lost his job in disaster relief." – Mark Watson
"I forgot my inflatable Michael Gove, which is a
shame 'cause halfway through he disappears up his own arsehole." – Kevin
Day
No
offense to Mark Watson or Kevin Day but these jokes just didn’t do it for me
and I think you might need to hit the joke books before next year’s Edinburgh Festival!
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